A response to Crystal ...

You asked that I do not dwell on the negative forces that I brought forth in the post of the 12 year old girl and her passing.

I understand fully where you are coming from Crystal. Basically my whole spiritual Journey has been fighting against the negative forces present in this Earthly Realm. I do not mean to give them any more power or substance. I want this planet to be free of them, forever.

But I also understand just how much negativity there is in this world. It unfortunately is pervasive and rampant. It is a sickness that really needs a cure. What each and every soul on this Earth needs to do is rise up against the negative forces in their life. They need to promote the positivity they posses. They need to seek the beauty with in them and all those around them.

I realize that at times it is easy to wallow in your sadness and sorrow. That the world is at odds against you and that things will not get better. That is when you really need to dig deep and realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Things will Improve.
Be Positive.
Overcome the negativity.
Gain some faith.
Realize all the Good that is present in this World.

The lights

When I left and moved out of the house in Oildale, I was full of supernatural hocus pocus. I didn't want to see it, hear about it, taste it, or anything else. I was in desperate need of a break from anything that didn't have an explanation.

So just a few days after we had moved into our new apartment, my lovely wife came to me with a very strange event. She had seen lights.

These lights were about the size of flashlight bulbs, probably 15 or 20 of them, just floating, suspended in mid air. They had a bit of a fog or a haze around them and were probably about 4 feet across and tall, almost round in their arrangement. They weren't up against the wall but a couple of feet from it, actually about a 90 degree angle to the wall, almost blocking her path to the living room. They were slowly moving up and down in unison, floating in the hallway.

I told her I didn't care, I couldn't handle it right then. I was sorry, but my brain was fried with these sort of things. A month later I came to her with what I thought was a plausible explanation, at least in my eyes. A month later I was thinking about the lights again, and realized that my explanation made no sense at all. I told her they were head lights from a car in the parking lot. But they weren't superimposed on the wall, they were separate of the wall, they were a group of small lights, not two huge beams of light. They were, uhm, lacking explanation. It only took me about 6 months to finally accept that fact. Luckily she only saw the lights the one time and I never saw them at all, at least not in the hallway.

Sometimes

The place your at is so strong spiritually that you can't escape the fact. One place I remember especially vividly was a house where I resided with my two young children and My wife. In most popular terms, it was and probably still is haunted. Things went on in the house that defied explanation.


The first thing that happened was the breaking of our bedroom window. We were in the Living room watching TV about 8 pm during the winter. Suddenly, the bedroom window in the next room broke and we looked at each other as we heard the initial chards of glass hit the wooden floor and shatter and then as more and more chards broke on the floor. It seemed to go on for about 30 seconds, although I am not certain of the time frame. I hurriedly arose from my chair and went to check on the damage. Upon turning on the light in the room, I noticed no broken glass on the floor. What?


My wife was right behind me and she lifted up the curtain to see an absolutely perfectly intact window. She tapped on the glass with her finger. The glass was sound as could be. She looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. I asked her if she heard what I heard, the glass chards breaking on the floor. Yes, she said. I fully expected to see a rock or a brick laying on the floor as well. That is just what I expected from the sound, But there was none. I checked the other window in the room. Perfectly sound. I checked all the other windows in the house. I checked the neighbors windows early the next morning. All intact and just fine thank you.


One night we were sound asleep and heard the back door screen door slam shut. First thing I did was check the hook on the inside of the door. It was latched. There wasn't any reason to have heard what we did. The door, by the sound, was swung open and swung shut hard, as if the wind had caught it. The hinge had an odd little creak to it. We heard that as well, both as it opened and as it had apparently shut.

They had replaced some of the front door area, but it was quite clear that at least once, a shotgun had tried to blast open the front door. There was quite a clear pattern of shot gun pellets showing in the remaining wood that hadn't been replaced.

Then there was the Night I heard clearly my daughter fall out of her bed and land with a soft thud on the old wooden floor, as though her 50 pound body was wrapped still in blankets just as I had left her a few hours earlier. As I laid there wiping the sleep from my eyes, I heard her get up and thud thud thud ever so softly as she headed for the kitchen. I then heard her little feet walk and creak across the vinyl kitchen floor towards somewhere there and then stop. I got up, and headed for the kitchen I turned on the kitchen light to see ...

Nothing, at least no one.

She should have been standing there half asleep wondering aloud about something but she wasn't. I turned around and retraced the path she would have taken from her bed. There she was, still tucked into her bed just as I had left her when I had last seen her. This occurrence happened to me one other time before we finally left this crazy house. The second time was pretty much a repeat of the first, with me fully expecting to find my daughter in the kitchen and she was still asleep in her bed.

The night of the Kittens
My wife and I were both asleep again when we both woke up to our little kittens, probably 6 months old and three in number. Playful, full of energy and healthy, they loved to chase each other and with the bare wood floors throughout the house except for the vinyl covered bathroom and kitchen, they had a blast slipping and sliding and trying to overcome the laws of physics as they played. This night was first for them though, playing at night. They usually slept most of the night anyway. So we sat up in bed and walked to the next room, the living room. The sound stopped, the playing came to an end, the scratching of the little claws and the little sounds and thuds as their little furry bodies crashed into one another and the ensuing tackling and wrestling. We had heard it all. We heard the little growls and funny little mews, especially from our loud mouthed Siamese. I turned on the light by the couch. No kittens could be seen. We both called them, to come out of their hiding places. Nothing. Not so much as a peep. How weird we both though, for they generally were very lovey after their play sessions. So on a hunch I walked into the kids room. There were two of the cats asleep at the foot of one bed and the Siamese was sleep at the foot of our sons bed. Dead to the world. We both climbed into bed trying to figure out what had just happened. 24 years ago this took place and I am still trying to figure it out.

The big Picture

"Yes, thank God, we don't get the big picture all at once."

I posted that back in October of 2001 on Yahell. Perhaps you are wondering what I was talking about.

My spiritual Journey would sometimes take a great leap forward where I learned much knowledge and gained so much insight into what was going on at the time or something to that effect. I loved it when that happened. Sometimes I referred toi this as getting slapped upside the head by God.

Sometimes though it wasn't a happy time when this happened, the Loss of both of my parents for instance. The death of my father after years of suffering with cancer, years later, my mother passing away within 48 hours of going into the hospital with a blood clot. I learned a boat load form each of these events.

Also with the message board at Yahoo, I sometimes would learn a great deal with a conversation I was involved in or witnessing conversations others were engaged in. At times, it was awe inspiring. Great huge amounts of spiritual wisdom was gathered and spread about through the message board and then without warning Yahell would come through and with out warning delete this great collection of spiritual wealth and understanding.

But through all this, knowledge gathered, As a snowball rolling down hill in the snow, gaining size and strength. Slowly putting the pieces together and filling in some of the blanks. Even when I didn't realize that there were blanks or pieces needed to fill the puzzle.

Then other times, waiting and wondering if I was ever going to advance at all. Used to drive me nuts at times. Then when I had almost given up, quit trying so hard to advance spiritually, again the doors would open up, so to speak and I was allowed to advance just a tad bit further. So in that I learned ever so slowly that to advance sometimes, one needs to not try to advance. That and I learned about if its meant to be.

But that is another post.